President – Kevin Song
Like all good dictators before him, Kevin has rigged this year’s elections in order to secure a second year as president. Sure, it’s perhaps a little suspicious that he received a supermajority of 150% of the vote, but the election proctors assure us that “no foul play was involved.” As the election committee is required to be impartial, all we can do is take them at their word.
OneVeep – Avalon Sueiro
A master of winning positions via random process, Avalon has decided to expand her skills to winning positions through orderly elections as well. As the new
freshman fraternizeer 1VP, we’re all hoping she doesn’t decide the incoming freshmen are cooler than we are and ends up quitting the KGB entirely.
TwoVeep – Howard (Howie) Ma
After using his patented Magic Trick™ to make our money disappear during his time as treasurer, Howie is now looking to do the same thing to our events. While the rest of us are somewhat concerned as to the fun value of making every event find the event minus the event, Howie assures us that the real fun of KGB events is the friends we make along the way.
CorSec – Nicolas (Nick) Keck
Efter spottin’ some major spellin’ mistakes in last year’s Pravda?, Nick has been spurred tae join exec tae rectify ainy mair egregious spellin’ errors. F’r example,
color colour will be spaelt pro’erly in the Queen’s King’s English, amang ither things. ’e accepts yer thanks fur daein’ this arduous task in the name of Her His Majesty.
RecSec – Julia Holz
Julia is practically synonymous with the sound of frantic typing as the motion to create the committee to create the committee to create the committee to create committees is proposed. She is so synonymous with the idea of being RecSec, in fact, that we couldn’t imagine anyone else holding the position for the coming year, so here she is.
Treasurer – Theo Kronemer
With a long history of OSHA violations under their belt, and a longtime veteran of the School of Drama, Theo is now ready to face the most dangerous environment of all: the world of finance. There is no doubt as to their financial acumen however, as their reintroduction of KGBitcoin has already increased our gains on the market by tenfold.
S@A – Daniel Yin
As a world-class Splatoon player, Daniel knows the value of playing as a team. As a team player, he also knows that sacrifices are sometimes necessary for the betterment of the team. Kevin seems somewhat skeptical of this fact, especially when it comes to him being sacrificed to the steam tunnel gods. Daniel tells us that Kevin is just not playing for the team, and the rest of exec wouldn’t want to be bad team players as well, would we?