President – Benner Rogers
Benner’s rise to power has been swift and decisive. She claims that she has no desire an absolute dictatorship, but her experience as an English major would mean she knows of the word “deceit.” The Ohio native has put her prospective English degree to good use by helping to revive ReadMe, a publication nearly as cool as Pravda?.
OneVeep – Georgia Coons
Despite chemistry not being real, KGB has chosen a “Chemical Engineer” to become OneVeep. Her coming now marks the second integration of Kiltie Band into KGB’s exec. Conveniently, the two flutists carry the two highest authoritative roles. Coincidence or grand plot? Pravda? has no ability to say.
TwoVeep – Daniel Yin
Daniel has stepped down as KGB president. It is still debatable whether this was a willing decision or was part of a deal he could not refuse from Benner. Instead, he has been nominated as TwoVeep, his position before his reign as president. Daniel has promised to become an even better TwoVeep than the one he was before by bringing “a greater diversity of snacks.” We hope this proponent of snack globalism fulfills his lofty ambitions.
CorSec – Nathan Gaynor
Using the good ol’ “mayonnaise on the table” strategy, Nathan has secured himself as CorSec for a second year. Nathan denies any use of magic in this vote, however some speculate he was in the possession of uranium stolen from the Physics department. Despite having no time for anything outside of school, he has promised an even greater Pravda? output. If this is physically possible is yet to be seen.
RecSec – Savi Bhat
Savi is our first new RecSec in 3 years, and she swears that she will fill the large shoes left for her by dedicating herself to 15 hours of typing practice every day. Some may note this leaves Savi only 9 hours a day to sleep, eat, and study. She has proved them wrong by typing at relativistic speeds, bending spacetime to her will.
Treasurer – Maddie Williamson
Despite not really knowing what he was running for, Maddie has been elected KGB’s treasurer. She says that “some things gotta be learned on the job,” and who are we to disagree? As KGB’s resident cryptid expert, Maddie says that a little mole man called “the fleckler” helps her manage our finances. As long as the bills get paid, we don’t care how the job gets done.
S@A – Noah King
After his short reign as treasurer, Noah decided there was nothing he regretted more than leaving KGB exec, so he has come back with less responsibility in his name. Does this mean he can cause greater havoc without drawing attention to himself? Perchance.