Several years back, during the Glory Days of the Revolution, our forefathers staged an act of public disturbance so effective, an incident so profound in its unsettling nature...the Party's state-sanctioned poets and playwrights still sing of it in legend.

Simply put, the KGB acquired a number of lab coats and Geiger counters. KGB operatives donned the lab coats, fired up the instruments, and roamed about the higher-traffic university installations with clipboards and counters in hand, taking readings. Public safety, of course. The findings were disturbing...we think.

My God, the Mountain Dew! I KNEW it wasn't natural!

Stand back, citizen; just a routine invetigation.

As a side note, did you know that the paint used in the interior hallways of the Mellon Institute actually are mildly radioactive? Not strong enough to have any harmful effects unless you were to, say, chew on a Mellon's paint chips continuously for a few years. But enough to make a sensitive instrument like a Geiger counter have a veritable wet dream! Very impressive...