Want to know what Exec actually does? You’re in the wrong place, my friend. Try here instead.
Dylan Vrana (President)
In his high school yearbook, Dylan “Booth Daddy” Vrana was voted most likely to use CRISPR to augment his body into cyborg Lichdom and hard-code a state of transcendent intelligent eudaimonia into his own brain via The Matrix running a python emulator. He has been caught muttering “damn I wish I could get my hands on more fresh teenage cerebral cortex” under his breath.
Dylan is our President and fearless leader!
Dylan plays things stoic most of the time, but when he is nervous his voice drops three octaves and his pausing-between-words-with-long-“ums” count reaches Barrack Obama levels. The mark of a truly great leader.
Dylan is great at GM-ing, and loves his eldritch ambiance. He often slips into emphatically doing dramatic voices for non player characters without meaning to. He’s a total softie <3.
Katie Fair (1st Vice President)
Katie is the epitome of red oni, her emotional landscape a vast burning sun of cuddling and cuteness that would likely incinerate other mortals through its sheer intensity; but to her is homeostasis. She is an aficionado of musical theatre, and a patron of the arts. She really likes Sky High, but we can forgive her for that.
Katie is the Vice President, and potentially the reason you’re here. Though shy, through attrition she is able to draw unsuspecting friends into her interests and social circles over the course of months, years, and decades. When she has marked you , your fate will lead you to her domain. She is like Davey Jones in this way. It is her most valuable asset.
She also does robots!
Ian Griswold (2nd Vice President)
*yiff yiff!* OwO what’s this? *paws all over your graph theory and snuggles up in Euler’s lap* Ian Griswold is a bad naughty fox boy who likes to make terrible math messes all over the living room walls with red sharpie. Ian is our Second Vice President. He is in charge of events.
Ian also cares about art and creative philosophy a lot, and has “started” upwards of a hundred projects. His record of completed projects is unknown (but he’s working on it).
Ian has been caught forcing mice through diabolical labyrinthian sudoku mazes of his own design, cackling “I AM THE PUZZLE GOD” and clapping his hands with malicious glee.
Quinn Couvrette (Corresponding Secretary)
Quinn is a magical girl, and a shitposter. Quinn served as CorSec from May to October.
Ellen Seeser (Corresponding Secretary)
Dez Reed (Recording Secretary)
Dez loves three things*: Table Top RPGs, art, and empirical utilitarianism. At every KGB meeting we all get together to make him write down every insipid detail of our undisciplined epistemological debates, which he dutifully deletes from the minutes, like Newton’s razor sheering down the unruly beard of sentimentality-formed moralism. Nobody gives a smoother shave.
Joe Doyle (Treasurer)
The only P-zombie, Joe Doyle looks and behaves like a thinking feeling monad, but is actually just a sophisticated automaton with no free will or consciousness. He has assured us that the rest of us are real monads though, so that’s a relief.
Joe is very well programmed at acting in such a way as to resemble a Treasurer. He is in charge of managing our funds, and lightly sautéing the books.
Kate Krakopolsky (Sergeant at Arms)
Kate is Russian, which is important because it means her complicity in our organization makes it okay that we joke about being a very real and morally questionable Russian secret police force.
Kate is a pillar of calm amid the turbulent waters of the rest of execs’ breakneck rock and roll lifestyles. If you look into her eyes, you will see a calm understanding that can only come from years of world weariness born with the tenacity of a soldier, and the grace of a last ruling monarch holding a fractured kingdom together through a decades long calamity. Unbowed. Unbent. Unbroken.
Kate is the Sergeant at Arms. She transports stuff.
*It is also her duty to put her life on the line at a second’s notice to defend the president against deadly assassination attempts. She would gladly die for him.