Teki's people were a native american tribe in Nevada who had learned to avoid the White Man's evil by burrowing under the ground and hunted land sharks. Teki had set off on his personal quest (the initiation rite marking his passage into adulthood) to recover the Tooth of the Great Behemoth (a land shark of incredible size which his father had slain) from the underground bandits who had stolen the relic when America's nuclear tests began. His tribe was tragically wiped out, and although Teki reclaimed the holy Tooth, it was little solace compared to his loss.
Teki left the underground world forever, seeking revenge against the monsters who had destroyed his home. He consulted the Tooth for guidance, and the spirits of his ancestors spoke to him and guided him to the local town of Los Alamos. There he became a fast food cook and used his finely honed hunter's instinct to flip burgers with incredible finnesse. Eventually though, Teki decided that the Tooth was defective, as it refused to bring him any closer to the unholy demons, leaving him instead with a bunch of long-haired hippies who babbled about nuclear forces. Teki decided to pursue his burger career full time, eventually rising to the position of KGB President.
The origins of Misha are completely unknown. He was seen riding his legendary WaterBull into the old-west town of Pittsburgh on a pillar of fire one night, and his life since then has been one of non-stop intrigue and derring-do. His most recent exploit involved his unjust imprisonment and subsequent abuse at the hands of his cellmate, Claude. However, with the help of his faithful friends, Bill and Turbo, Misha was able to prove his innocence and continue fighting for justice among the common folk. He contends with his eternal nemesis, the Dark Princess, every step of the way, but knows that he will one day claim victory over her evil ways. Only then will he be able to lay down his mighty sword and rest.
Misha's hobbies include breeding hyper-intelligent ants and long walks along smog-filled streets.
Second Vice President: Alisa Grishman
At the tender age of three, Alisa was well known in the asteroid belt as the finest example of a modern Renaissance Woman seen in the past fifty years. A master of thirty-two languages (including four which are completely unpronounceable by the average human), toddler Alisa also invented the sport of high-speed asteroid racing, and was even starting to become known dirtside for her brilliant, three-dimensional paintings.
This all changed, however, when she was abducted by space ninjas, who hoped to ransome her to the united nations in exchange for amnesty for their crimes against the moonlight. Their plan was cut short, as Alisa was able to construct an atomic bomb using two pieces of aluminum foil, a hammer, and odd bits of plutonium that she picked up while doing her chores. Her miraculous escape became the topic of talk show debate around the solar system, and when she was approached with a fifty gojillion dollar deal (inflation, you know) for the movie rights, she was so excited that her previously uncovered psionic powers accidentally misfired and caused the lawyer's head to explode.
This little mishap didn't hinder Alisa's rise to stardom, however. Only fourteen years old, Alisa's is the most recognizable female face since the Olsen Twins (and her career is considered to be far more secure than theirs, given that testing has confirmed that she is *not* a grotesque tentacle monster... we wouldn't want to have to go through THAT again).
Recording Secretary: Joey "Fwiffo" Echeverria
Joey entered the world of organized crime when he realized that the mundane world lacked the romance and adventure that he longed for. His first big heist earned him his Family Name, "Fwiffo", when he hijacked the space shuttle to smuggle cigars to the States from Cuba, with NASA none the wiser. For decades, Fwiffo was on top of the world. He went where he wanted, when he wanted, accompanied by his burly "associates", who were really killer robots of his own design. This came to a crashing halt when, in a fire fight, Fwiffo was hit. He lived, but due to the nature of his injury, was rendered completely mute. He chose to retire from organized crime, rather than constantly having to play charades every time he wanted to give someone a swim with cement shoes.
When he gave up the mob life, Fwiffo turned to his second passion: Record Keeping. To this end, he joined KGB as Recording Secretary. Unfortunately, he only then realized that he was deathly allergic to records of any sort, and was never seen at a meeting, ever again.
Ed was just a bum with no future and no past. Nobody's quite sure where he came from, but he just started showing up at meetings one day. We made him an officer in the hope that it would make him shut up. It didn't work.
Treasurer: Mark Tomczak
Mark's quiet life as a minor aristocrat in Pompeii was rudely disrupted when dread Cthulhu rose and destroyed the city. He was quite put out. However Cthulhu, who played poker on weekends with Mark's cousin, offered to spare Mark and transport him to any point in time that he would care to go. Having heard of the wonders of the 21st century, Mark chose to travel forward in time, leaving his first century life behind him.
Mark now delights children by playing his Vesuvian Ukelele while giving them lectures on trans-dimensional phrenology.