Several years back, during the Glory Days of the Revolution,
our forefathers staged an act of public disturbance so effective,
an incident so profound in its unsettling nature...the Party's
state-sanctioned poets and playwrights still sing of it in
Simply put, the KGB acquired a number of lab coats and Geiger
counters. KGB operatives donned the lab coats, fired up the
instruments, and roamed about the higher-traffic university
installations with clipboards and counters in hand, taking
readings. Public safety, of course. The findings were
My God, the Mountain Dew! I KNEW it wasn't natural!
Stand back, citizen; just a routine invetigation.
As a side note, did you know that the paint used in the
interior hallways of the Mellon
Institute actually are mildly radioactive? Not strong
enough to have any harmful effects unless you were to, say, chew
on a Mellon's paint chips continuously for a few years. But
enough to make a sensitive instrument like a Geiger counter have a
veritable wet dream! Very impressive...
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