The Ruble of Fault

2009.10.12
Blame ??? unless it's global warming

KGB's .plan

(Email addressed to 'kgb@andrew.cmu.edu' will not be delivered to the
following user because the account is suspended.)
           name:  KGB
        project:  World Domination.

     login name:  kgb

         e-mail:  This account has no electronic mailbox; the addressee's
                  account has been disabled.  There is no email forwarding
                  address.  Please use other means to contact this person.
Real Mostly-Live Officers (life subject to change without notice):

President - Matthew Glisson (mglisson)
Call Glisson if you need KGB's face for any reason.
Call Glisson by his last name -- Matthew is rather common.
Call Glisson when you're lonely and want to discuss octopi.
Call of Cthulhu??? Yeah, that too.

1st Vice President - Alan "Mander" Kraut (ajkraut)
Call Mander if you have a few too many cupcakes.
Call Mander Alan and he may or may not respond.
Call Mander if you are willing to be recruited into the KGB.
Call Mander unless it's the 5th of November.

2nd Vice President - Richard Halstead (rhalstea)
Call Richard to inquire of our weekendly happenings.
Call Richard a kitten and somebody is bound to giggle.
Call Richard when you need a hand with your other hand.
Call Richard to inform him when there's a red sky in the morning.

Corresponding Secretary - Emily Forney (eforney)
Call Emily if you have some sort of SUBMISSION for PRAVDA?!.
Call Emily homochromic and she will politely disagree.
Call Emily if you corresponding needs aren't being met.
Call Emily before it's too late!

Recording Secretary - Josiah Boning (jboning)
Call Josiah if you day has too few minutes.
Call Josiah when you're cold and need a blanket of the people.
Call Josiah if the cluster is raving without him.
Call Josiah to tell him if you'd prefer one sugar cube or two.

Treasurer - Laura Abbott (labbott)
Call Labbott when you have money but you don't want money.
Call Labbott a dominatrix because it's just true.
Call Labbott unless you aim to spritz her with a watergun.
Call Labbott to find the square root of delicious pie.

Sergeant-at-Arms - Derek Kozel (dkozel)
Call Derek if there is Stuff you require.
Call Derek if you need a grill- and/or girl-meister.
Call Derek when Robert's Rules are not in order so he can sort them.
Call Derek lugubrious. You'll see what happens.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

C'mon.
Join.
You'll like it.
Everyone else is doing it.
What are you, scared?
Besides, it's good for you.
Buy more tangerines.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

For public audiences and group rates, please attend our meetings:
Mondays at 4:30 PM (1630)
Margaret Morrison Hall A14
If locked, break glass.

For private showings and complaints, consider Executive Board meetings:
Fridays at 5:30 PM (1730)
Student Government Conference Room (UC 318G), environs.

PLEASE TO READ assocs.kgb.*
SACRILEGIOUSLY THANK YOU.

Check out our World Wide Web page:
http://www.cmukgb.org/
    or else.
Or else we'll update it.